November 05, 2019

Confession: I once hated a flower in our collection for over a year. 

Let me start from the beginning ...

Three years ago, Katie and I spent a long weekend in Florida at the Naples Botanical Garden. Along with participating in some of the 10-year garden future strategy meetings, we collected seven new flower essences. Among that seven was the Clock Vine Flower. [insert ominous music]

We spent the first few days getting a feel for all of the flowers blooming in the garden, took note of which ones we wanted to add to the flower essence library, and collected most of them on the last day. 

When Clock Vine made it on the list of flowers to collect, I stayed quiet, but was secretly irritated that Katie decided to collect that particular one. I am laughing at myself right now, but it’s the truth!

While Katie sat with the flowers and took notes on what each one was for, I took off with my camera to take photos + video footage of each one. I saved Clock Vine for last. 

As I am sure you can imagine, being apart of the collection experience is a total honor. Knowing that the flowers I photograph not only will be shared in emails + on social media … but also profoundly impact the thousands of people that drink its medicine … is so so so special. 

But Clock Vine wasn’t the most joyful experience for me - especially the part when I had to get up close and personal with the flower to capture all of its details.

My words to describe the flower as I studied it through the lens: ugly, gross + repulsive.

Jump ahead 1 year later ~ we’re planning the next round of Flowerevolution elixirs, and Clock Vine is being featured. I’m editing the photos I took, putting together a sensory video with the footage from that day, and helping design the labels, digital wallpapers + other goodies … and that feeling hadn’t changed. Still hated it.  

And then it came time to take it. [insert ominous music, again]

Let me give you some light backstory on what my life looked like at this time:

I was living with my partner of 4 years at the time. I just landed back home from our huge 2017 Thunder Moon Flowerlounge Tour across the country. When I walked into my front door, I felt that “time to slip back into the routine of things” feeling. But the thing was ... I didn’t want to. Actually, I couldn’t. So much had transformed inside of me during that 3-week trip with Katie and the team … and I felt different. I couldn’t go back to that space that once felt like home, but now felt stuck, stagnant and irritating. 

I knew deep down inside of me that if my partner couldn’t meet me where I was at, then I needed to end things to be able to continue growing + evolving at my own rate.

But, as most of you know, break up’s are never easy.

Here were my excuses:

Give it some time, things will change. 
Give it some more time - things haven’t changed yet, but they should with a bit more time. 
Stick it out just a liiiiittle bit more longer, and then make your decision. 

But then ~ CLOCK VINE

Within a few days of taking this elixir, I had my first flower elixir experience that took on a whole life of its own. 

I remember sitting in front of my computer at work and I felt this huuuge knot in my throat. I felt a little nauseous, but not like I was going to be sick. I felt a knowingness that the only way to relieve this stuck feeling in my throat, was to speak up + say what needed to be said, no matter how hard it was.

I burst into tears and told the team that I needed to go home for the day. I texted my partner and said we needed to talk. I had no idea what I was going to say, but something wanted to come out, and there was no way I could hold it in any longer. Or better yet, there was no way that I could continue ignoring what I knew to be true, but was unwilling to look at.

That was the first blessing of this elixir.

Then came the tipping-point-moment that caused my world to come crashing o p e n … when I fully allowed myself to fearlessly look at the misalignment in my life, and uncover a treasure of courage within myself to actually do something about it.

On the other side of this discomfort? 

Total freedom to be a bigger version of myself. The ability to get comfortable with falling apart + compassionately observe big emotions. A sense of safety when it comes to fully exposing my heart to others. 

Is there something you’ve been wanting to say or do, but the thought of taking action feels like your world will come crashing down? Or, maybe there’s something in your life you know deep down is there, but have been unwilling to look at?

If you’re ready to do something about it, read more about the magic of Clock Vine here

Love + flower freedom,

P.S. If you also find yourself repulsed by the sight of this flower, I highly recommend you take this elixir. A negative reaction to a flower is a really good sign it’s beneficial for you. :)